Please note, if you are one of my parents—ok, my dad, please do not read. Today’s post is too much information (aka TMI).
In true mother from, I am four weeks late sharing this post—though if you follow me on instagram then you already know that we had a miscarriage. Next week I’ll go into details on what that means. This is also your warning that if you do not want to read about miscarriages, then ignore next week’s post.
So both my therapist and life coach says there are different stages of grieving (that’s right, I have all the help). I’m not even sure what stage I’m in and compared to many scenarios, mine feels minute. But can I just take minute to complain to say . . . I’M PISSED!
As part of the grieving process, I’d like to share with you the most ridiculous, but overlooked reasons it sucks to have a miscarriage and what life is like after when you’ve suddenly stopped being pregnant.
Please note—today’s post is meant to be humorous in an attempt to move on. In no way does it reflect my attitude towards others who have been in this situation nor is it meant to make light of the tragedy that many go through with miscarriages.
So without further ado the list of all the reasons I’m pissed about having a miscarriage.
1. Weight Gain to Lose
I am not someone for whom pregnancy is kind. I generally pack on weight immediately in pregnancy, and then taper off. I miscarried right at the end of my 1st trimester, and now I have 1st trimester weight to lose. Great, just great.
2. The Anticipation of Morning Sickness
Nothing like looking forward to trying to get pregnant again, and knowing what awaits is yet another round of morning sickness. And yes I know all pregnancies are different, but I can guarantee I will have horrific morning sickness again. It is my future.
3. More Weight Gain to Lose
Oh right, because after a miscarriage you feel horrible and want to enjoy ice cream to give yourself a mental break from the emotional weight of being pregnant, coupled with the emotional weight of no longer being pregnant. And then you wake up another 5 lbs of actual weight. Just great.
4. Pregnancy Clothes that Fit and Don’t Fit
Glad I spent a ton of money on pregnancy clothes, which still fit because I still look somewhat pregnant. And yes I’ll use them in the meantime, but it feels like a slap on the face every time I put on a pair of pregnancy underwear.
5. Random Bouts of Crying
I think this goes without saying.
6. Hormonal Rage and All The People You Want to Punch
Did you know that after a miscarriage your hormones quickly shift and it’s like the worst day of PMS every single day following the loss of a child? I didn’t. It’s been a joy, let me tell you.
7. Not Getting My New Diaper Bag
Just saying. I already had my new mini-baby registry ready to go. And I was ready for that new diaper bag, and now I have to wait . . . again.
8. Not Getting My New Stroller
Yes, I could go out and buy a new one, but I wanted everyone else to help buy my new stroller.
9. Cheesy Miscarriage Jewelry That is Either Ugly or Feels Like a Slap in the Face
Now my Instagram feed is inundated with ads for “remember life” mementos and that’s super annoying. Also see #6 - Hormonal Rage.
10. Pregnancy Instagram Bump Photos [and People You Want to Punch]
Nothing like bump photos of that Instagram follower who is pregnant and showing off the bump you would have had, because your due date was the same. I think of all the post-miscarriage scenarios, this is one of the hardest to handle.
11. Explaining to your Male Intern - So not awkward, by the way.
Yup. It’s been a summer of education in more ways than I’m sure he had wished for—but at least I’m preparing him for life.
12. Saying Goodbye to Comfort Foods and Right When You Could Use Them
So it’s true—when you’re pregnant, your body automatically helps correct immunities such as if you’re gluten intolerant or lactose intolerant. Not only did I lose a child, I had to immediately stop eating bagels and donuts and sandwiches. Just great.
13. A Funny Looking Belly Button During Bathing Suit Season
So I had a laparoscopic surgery with my D&C because the OB/GYN thought she punctured my uterus. Which is to say they went in through my belly button to check. Well, now my belly button looks different. That sucks too.
14. The Joys of PPD, PMS & Your Period
So apparently you almost always get postpartum depression after a miscarriage. Didn’t know that lovely little tidbit. Did you also know that PMS starts to kick it right around the time you start to feel better? Which basically restarts all of the rage. Oh and my favorite, your period will probably occur around the time you’re finally done healing from the actual miscarriage. So that’s cool too.
15. Not Being Done with Babies
We would’ve been done with kids and I was already anticipating when to schedule that ol’ snipping appointment for the husband. But alas, not so much.
Throw in a few more entries titled Rage and Rage Against Weight Gain and therein lies how I’m doing these days.
On a positive, the amount of love and support I have received from all of you has been amazing and all of the stories from fellow women in the similar situation has been tremendously helpful.
Love to all!