I don't know about you, but I worry often. Sure, I try to embrace the trend of daily gratitude journals, mediation smartphone apps, and regularly attend my local yoga studio -- but motherhood has turned me into a worry-wart.
I don't remember worrying as much before becoming a mother, but I also suspect being a mother has given me amnesia. And I worry about the small stuff -- like is my nail color appropriate? Is my nail color too boring? Should I even bother keeping up with my nails?
See what I mean.
Perhaps as a way to cleanse my brain of all that I worry, and perhaps add a bit of relief to all the ways you too might worry, I give you my list of 43 ways I overly worry on an everyday basis.
Note, some of my worries are probably valid. Also note, many of my worries are completely ridiculous, and yes I'm aware.
Will my daughter grow up to resent me?
Will my hypothetical second child add more chaos to my life than I can handle?
Am I over-reacting about the hypothetical chaos that will come from having more children?
Am I listening too much to the advice of others and not being strong enough to listen to my own instincts?
Am I a terrible person for not listening to the advice of others more often?
Will my child be successful in school?
Will my child party too much in college?
Will my child get #kavanuaghed?
Is that dark alley safe where I've parked my car?
Should I be carrying around a teeny tiny, but legal and non-controversial weapon, wherever I go?
How young is too young to put my daughter into Krav Maga?
Did I pass on too many of my stupid genes to my daughter and am I totally kidding myself when I think, even at age 3.5, she's super smart?
Is it really worth it to get a pedicure in the winter?
Should I be concerned that nail salons no longer use that crazy razor to shave off calluses and did I dodge a bullet by never having my skin ripped off my foot? Is it weird that I still picture the horror that could be?
Will I blow a tire on my car driving someday?
Does blowing a tire on the car really sound like a helicopter, and living in DC, how will I know it isn't really a helicopter?
If I pull over on the side of the road to fix a tire, will some creepy guy offer to help me or will it be a nice person who isn't secretly going to attack me or steal my car once the tire is back on the car?
Am I too strict with the food I feed my child?
Am I not strict enough with the food I feed my child?
Should I really get over not wanting to give my kid poison-filled Oreos?
I mean, I love Oreos and ate plenty growing up so maybe it all worked out? Or maybe that explains why I am still battling acne in my 30s and have spent 30 years trying to reach my goal weight. Are Oreos maybe the secret culprit to all of life's problems? Are Oreos perhaps the answer?
Am I a bad mother for having a glass of wine?
Am I super normal and just totally hard on myself all the time?
Do I nag my husband too much?
Maybe I don't nag him enough?
Maybe if he were just better at paying attention to the details, I would harass him less? Perhaps I'm supposed to be harassing more? Perhaps my life's mission is to create a Husband-in-Training School? What if I don't charge enough and what if I charge too much?
Have I found my purpose in life?
Is my purpose supposed to be just having children?
Am I a horrible person for knowing that raising children is not my life's mission?
Maybe I'm totally wrong? Maybe it is my life's mission and that is why my regular work stresses me out so much?
Am I supposed to quit my business and do something totally different like be a professional karaoke singer?
If I had been trained to properly sing would I be totally amazing and on tour right now?
Is there someone out there who still remembers me as the girl that once very, very poorly sang Wild Horsesat that one karaoke bar?
Is the world filled with all the people who only remember the embarrassing mistakes I have made?
Do classmates from my kindergarten class still remember that one day I wore a maroon-colored corduroy skirt and totally forgot to put on underwear?
Am I a terrible friend for forgetting to text everyone back?
Should more people be upset for not texting me back? Am I too responsive and will I develop some crazy disease from my phone always being within 1 inch of my body?
Do I spend enough time with my family?
Do I neglect my work too often? Do I neglect my family too often?
If my daughter always talks about me working is it because she thinks I am a workaholic and a terrible mother, or because she is independent enough that she doesn't need me to play with her?
Will my daughter's life be filled with embarrassments and will she wake up one day with an ongoing playlist of all the stupid things she said and obsess over what she should've said instead?
Is it too late to pursue a career as a backup dancer for Justin Timerblake?
Will my daughter one day come across my Mommy Has Strugglesblog and realize her mother is entirely insane?